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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dream drug.

It's strange. It's a relationship (I don think it's a relationship). It's something safe that they we have. Like the giggles and the stomach clenching and 

I'm not talking to you for five minutes. 

They talk about everything and blankblankblank. Words filled with nothingness that leaves them with a light breeze, lingering glances and a bad after taste. 

She always liked those glances though. because sometimes, when she saw them (when she gave them) it'd make her feel like she wasn't the only one stuck. 

Stuck. Stuck with a heavily stacked contract with blank pages. Torn edges. Stuck with her hands tied behind her back and a blindfold 

I don't know what I'm doing, I can't see where my feet are falling and I don't want you. I don't I don't I don't.

He knew her, Iknowyou, he knew too much and it scared her because she didn't know him (I don't want to know you because I like you too much for my/her/your/his own good). 

She doesn't think about anything, and it's all in the music, droplets of golden rainbow dripping through her soul as she tries, tries, tries to be this paradigm of perfection, silly and smiley and happy, but it's all for him, for him, and sometimes she thinks that no one else sees that because no one sees no one ever sees and it's like an addiction. 

The more she feeds it, the more she needs it.

I don't won't anybody to notice (She doesn't want him to notice even if her heart thinks otherwise. Stupidheart) because then it'd be real, too real for me to hold above the mountain of silver and clouds and happiness.

Too real for me to let go. Too real for a beginning and too real for an ending 

(make it easier and untie me. before it becomes too real for you and me). 

2 comments:

the artist said...

I love this post...

Also, just to tell you, I've moved blogs... needed to find a quieter space for my thoughts... but you're welcome to find them at http://thesepreciousillusionsinmyhead.blogspot.com/

Yellow ninja said...

Thank you for telling me :)