My body can't stop the things that happens in my mind.

"Sometimes, words can't describe the way someone makes you feel."


I've lasted so long that eventually, I knew, I had to get to this point. I knew what was coming but I was so surprised when this thought started popping everywhere in my head. I feel so helpless and . . . confused. From the first week of school.

There is no reason. No reason at all for me to start thinking about you.

At home.

"Im seriously not having a party in my mouth."


The camp was really nice. This morning Fatima had a cheese - jam and peanut butter sandwich. Not cool man. I had tea. Yes. Im an old lady.

We did this activity, and we needed teamwork. We lifted each other on higher objects. We hung on each other when we had no other support. We held hands tightly when we had no other balance, saying and hearing "Its okay, don't worry. Just give me your hand. I've got you."

Im at home now.

And Im really tired.

xoxo.

Smores and mosquitoes.

Hmm.

Smores. It tastes gooood for the first time.

Camp is great. I rock climbed and i couldn't passed the stupid star grip thingy. Twice. I suck. We also made rafts. My group won. The other group has to sing us a song.
My mommy says she misses me. I love her for saying that she misses me.

xoxo.

C.A.M.P

Marshmallow 1: "I hate camping." Marshmallow 2: "Same."


For the next 3 days (3 days 2 nights) I'll be on school camp. Great. Im kinda excited but they'll probably want me jumping on walls or building a crappy boats. I suck at sport so pray.

xoxo.

Save The World. 


Where to Start? 


Haiti.


xoxo.

You've heard it. Now. Listen.

I smile, when I put my foot in the luke warm pool.
The wild brown mane on my head hangs loosely,
tips trailing in the mystifying water around me.

The wind blows and the water shivers.

I breathe in. 1, 2, 3.
And fall under.

I was about to get out.
It was getting dark and as I put my foot on the step,
I looked up to the sky.
And decided not to.
I float back to the middle,
watch the clouds drift pass my vision
with a touch of blush on them.

And then as the sun's rays made way,
the water, something I forgot about, rushed through my ears.
Blocking any insignificant sound and I heard.
Nothing. Pure silence.
And I,

Listened.

Untitled.

Day burns down to Night.
Burns the edge of my soul.
sparks of suns
and become fires end.
The dust of bones . . .

In the Night I see
The real concealed
In the days bright LIE.
Eyes stitched shut
WHITE TEETH SMILE.

SLEEP walks
AND talks
AND feet
Marks Time
to the drumless beat.

From movie, The Invisible.

Quote!

Check out this quote I got from my school (well its from J.M.Coetzee, Summertime. It was on one of my english papers from english class. Duh.) Its on the right side of the blog. There.

I love quotes. Sometimes I make up my own. Sometimes I suck.

xoxo.

Jacob Black's Birthday!

"Dear Jacob. Bella is an idiot. Love me instead??"


I found some news. Jacob Black birthday in Twilight series (obviously) is two days after mine! The 14th of Jan.

Im just saying.

xoxo.

I like this feeling.

"This is the look of a surprised person... covering her face from the camera as the tears roll down her eyes... happy tears." - Nadia.

She can be sweet when she wants to.

xoxo.

Something Amazing.

"I love you so much. I love that you think about these things. I love that you planned all this. I love that you made me feel so happy that I cried. For me. Thank you. All of you."

Wow.

Oh my.

Holy cow! (Thats a first.)

You would never believe what happened... to me(!)

Okay okay, let me tell you from the start. I posted a few days ago (Tuesday) that it was my (16th) birthday. Yeah. It was really boring 'cause school started the Wednesday (not for me but I'll get to that topic later) and my friends couldn't stay long. Psh. Whatever. So anyhow, I went with my friend to a barbeque/braai for the rest of the day. Her sister just started High school, I was super excited for her.

I ended up by her house and I said something random like "lets put some make up on?" and we did. She said why don't we go to my house and take pictures (I just got a cool camera) but I was like "my sisters there... and she'll also want to take pictures... that is no fun." But we ended up going and then I saw a lot of cars in our driveway and I said "Im so not gonna take pictures with all these people here."

We got out of the car and it was really weird 'cause it was dark (Its the night, its suppose to be dark. Duh. But it was a really... forced dark. I dunno.) Anyway, Im just about to head inside when I see all my friends and family and hear a big "Surprise!", following a "Happy Birthday" song afterwards.

I was in tears. And Im wearing this stupid make up. Come on! I don't even wear make up and now there's evidence on the damn camera. Dammit. There was balloons... and food... and my friends.

They told me they started planning this two months ago. I cried again.

I love them. A lot. All of them.

xoxo.

That Thing.

I miss that thing we used to do. When we were together.
Remember, I used to laugh about it when we threw it around us.
Between us. Over us, like a secure blanket that warmed our skin and heart. Remember.

Love. Yeah, I remember.

That Thing.

Im a grown women... Lol, no Im not.

"Today's the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus."


Todays the day I turn an age every teenager would like to party, drink, have boyfriends, drive and more party. (Seriously, Im just picking this up from the corner of my mind.)

Happy 16 Birthday to me. Haha.

xoxo.

You know what word I like? Vacation.

"I can't decide if a decent tan is worth the possible melanoma."


Just got back from my three and a half day holiday. It was fabulous. But I tanned. A lot.

Damn. Im black. Lol.

xoxo.

Love Letter.

"And I got that from a can of spray." - seriously . . .

I shall hold it close. I shall place it under my pillow. I shall keep it safe until we are together. I shall cherish every word of your Love Letter.

Reality doesn't exist in my world.

I stepped forward, feeling the gravel between my toes. Making a path for me.
My breath, the only thing breaking the silence around me.
The wind, urging me forward, guiding me. Dancing through my hair like fairies. Colorful fairies.
Green and red dragons soar over my head. Hundreds. And my only light is their fiery breath.
My excitement rules all other emotion. My imagination makes my decision.
And as I fly, like the dragons above me, off the cliff into the sea of unknown I grab onto the hope inside of me like a parachute.
When I land on the rainbow color water I believe that when all this is over, when all this disappears into a black hole. When I have to open my eyes for the last time, that I have accomplished life.

Because I was happy.