01:01:2010. I think you know what that means.

"Lets never speak of 2009 again."


Seriously, I don't wanna talk about 2009 ever again. Thank you Lord for letting me live this long! Man, I will never know how I survived. Oh and you know what's poopie? New Years is on a Thursday and we (well mostly me and few other good chickens) can't go out Thursday night 'cause its a holy night. And its gonna be a test for most muslims to see if they're going to ignore our religion. Yeah, Im judging you.

Anyhow, Im really hoping that next year will be easier and well planned lol.

Seriously.

xoxo.

Movies only suck when you can't stop crying.

I could make pools with the amount of water falling from my eyes.

I just watched The Note Book. I know, Im seriously delayed and should check that out some time by the clinic. I also watched the Avatar. Thats a really nice movie. Pretty cool.

Seriously.

xoxo.

Hi. Hey. Hello and how do you do?

"Omg. Wtf. bbq."


I had three things I wanted to get over with but now I can't remember one of them. Damn my stupid sucky memory. I'll just have to get over it. The first one was that I didn't watch 'Paranormal Activity'. It was so unfair 'cause I really wanted to but then the movie didn't want to play. Sucks bum big time man.

I started a fanfic story (If any one of you ever heard of www.fanfiction.net/), Its a Seth story, from Twilight man. I just felt like saying it.

I can't remember what the third thing was but I'll post it later if I remember (sigh).

xoxo.

Bloody - Disgusting.

"Experience. It. For. Yourself."


I actually can wait. Oh just letting you know... Im gonna watch... Paranormal Activity... man. I phoned my friend and told her and was like "Are you crazy! Don't watch it." and I said "Okay then, why don't you watch it with me?", she screamed in the phone and said "What! Do I look crazy?" So that just ended our convo.

Seriously, what's so bad? I'll update later and tell you.

xoxo.

"You've really got a knack for being bored."

"Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now." 


Seriously, if you're home. Bored. Alone. And the only sharp object you have is a butter knife. You should get some help. I just started school holidays and my parents are working till 5 and 6 the night. No car. Damn, and since I can't go to my friends house everyday because they might get annoyed with me and I get bored quickly I don't what else to do. I bought 3, thick, books a few days and I finished them (I really wanna cry) already. Im probably gonna eat myself fat until I can't fit through the door way then I can't ever leave the house.

I'm really bored.

xoxo.

Who else would not love his own image.

Who else would not love his own image?

Even the crude Narcissius loved himself

in a pool of water.

We feed and worship our image

from the crude shadows in the still waters

to the bright reflections of the silver mirrors

and to the wise manipulations over

the lenses of the camera men and women.

We pose and change suits

giggle at the transfer of life

into the shiny papers and borrowed colours

tailor our dead sizes,

enlarge these still pictures

in frames and hang them on walls.

We pay the high cost of joy

of our tailored image

stamped on papers and tucked on wood

kissed by glasses and adhesives.

And never will the price alter

the rising and ebbing tide

of the ego`s worship

to our own human form.

(taken from my first book of poems,

" A Pulse for my Country People", p. 51)

Update on the . . . diet.

"Every time I say the word diet, I wash my mouth out with chocolate."


The diet was going great, but then I saw an ice cream shop and I lost it.

PS: I also had a chip roll.

xoxo.

Be jealous. Be OH SO jealous.

"What a marshmallow/Age is just a number babe. What are you now, 40?/And I jizzed in my pants :)


Yes I've seen it with all you weirdos. 20/11/2009 at 23:55 baby!

It was really strange 'cause I am a fan but not like a crazy-girl-with-pictures-all-over-her-room-of-Edward-and-Jacob type of fan but these girls were creepy!

I just remembered this funny thing these girls said behind me while standing in the line to get some popcorn with my my sister. I'm sorry if listening to weird girls conversations are rude.

The one girl said "I'm so excited, OMG (she said it just like that) I can finally have Jacob..." I looked at my sister and she was looking at me. We carried on listening. "... and then Edward would come back to bite me..." I was laughing by the time she ended that sentence and things got really heated between her and her friend . . . seriously. "You can't have both of them! You know our damn plan! Remember our plan..." I didn't know what she meant by her plan but Im pretty sure that  I didn't want to know.

Oh and let me tell you . . . it was packed! The girls were standing by these human sized poster, taking pictures and shaking like hell.

I'm going again 'cause my friend didn't go. I'm such a nice friend :) I love you.

How was your crazy time?

xoxo.

It was so much better back in the days.

"My career plans were much more exciting when I was five."

• When I was ten I wanted to become a Teacher... 

I thought teaching children for my whole life was gross.

• When I was eleven I wanted to become an Artist...

I got jealous of the children doing better and then I felt insecure.

• When I was twelve I wanted to become an Architect...

I thought drawing buildings were very boring and since I still had that issue with drawing...well.

• When I was thirteen I wanted to become a Doctor...

I wasn't really good with math and science. And blood made my stomach feel funny.

• When I was fourteen I wanted to become a Land Surveyor/Artist(don't ask)/Architect/Photographer.

"..."

I thought I was literally wasting my time when I turned fifteen. Wheres all my options?

xoxo.

Something random.

"I could be spontaneously funny when I wanted to."


Highlight of the day: Today I dipped my carrot into peanut butter.
What did you do?

xoxo.

"My gut has outgrown my wardrobe."

Today I started my six week diet...

...

Diet...Diet...DIET.!!

Its not fun, not at all but Im not gonna be a party pooper and quit. Never! Im not alone in this anyways. My wonderful mother and my oh so happy sister full of sparkles and happiness. <---- Thats sarcasm.
You probably want to know what I ate and gonna still eat, hey?... I'll tell you anyway:

• Morning: A half a grapefruit (eww, that tasted disgusting) and a piece of 'dry' chicken.
• Snack: chopped up fish (made with lemon) and veggies.
• Lunch: chopped up fish and veggies. How fun is this diet so far??
• Supper: (probably) chopped up fish and veggies.

I get the opportunity by watching Fatima (frendo) eat ice cream,hot cross buns and those delicious oreo's at school. hmmm. Great stuff man (she's probably reading this now... I love you, lol). Im just gonna go and go eat something dry.

xoxo.

Future.

"You know, sometimes I feel like you've made this invisible bubble around yourselves so that I can pretend to know what's going on in your lives and say 'hmms' and 'ahhhs' like its the most natural thing to do. Its not. Its like saying to my face: We're here because we can't do anything else."

Worlds I live in.

"It makes me happy that we agree on the fact that it sucks to be anyone who isn't us."

Well today was normal... for me:

• Showered in cold water, our geyser broke. How wonderful to start a day off.

• Apparently my teacher thinks Im spontaneously funny... in an oral. 

• Was on the highway to hell (Not literally, but you get the point)- Fatima

• I've got really bad sinuses. Thats not new.

• Made arrangements to see some sexy werewolves midnight... with my mother.

• Oh and she's watching 17 again. Right now.

xoxo.

Earrings are just not meant for you.

"Don't underestimate me. I will punch you in the face."

You know what I just don't get? That really annoys me? Boys (mostly men) with any type of plastic or metal or gold or what ever jewel hanging from their ears!!! I mean come on! I know that the female species look pretty awesome with them but boys (mostly men) just don't look that cool. I mean why do they even wear them? Please enlighten me so I can understand better. I tried to look it up on the net but it just wasn't that clear.

We still have time.

Lets have some fun before our world ends. Get on horses and run over the weird ones. Get lost and run naked, while drowning into unconsciousness. Lets breathe for someone to take our breath away and wait on top of that hill, until that sun rises, we finally live like we were born to.

And then take a leap of faith over the horizon and touch the stars with our hands clasped together like it was meant to be. Just you and me.

xoxo. 

Our own place.

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.” I'll miss you.

That colorful rainbow behind my shadow .

You're different than most of the people I've met. I'm happy that I know you.

I like it when you help me out, because you choose to. You make me laugh, even in the worst of times. When you get those bad mood swings, you never get mad at me and you'll throw all that anger and annoyance on other people that comes in your way. But it will never be me.

You're always there, like you want to be. Like you want to be my friend.

I like it when people describes us as opposites. Like white and black.

But I'm really glad that you chose me to be your friend.

xoxo

I'm grateful to have you.

You watched her, from the corner of your eye, how that little girl stood next to her mother, looking sheltered and at peace.

The way her eyes were closed, seeing no distance between her mother and herself. How you saw the adoration on her mothers face as the little girl began to mumble Arabic words… words with meaning. Just then when you were about to look away you saw, as the little girl brought her hands up to her chest, one of her tiny hands held her mothers.

And you were grateful, for everything.

Dying without words.

You say it over but no one hears you. They acknowledge you, screaming it at the top of your lungs until it’s hard to speak at all. They stare at you like you’re some sort of outsider but you don’t cry.

You say it over when they start to shrug like they’re annoyed or deaf.

You say it over and they start to walk away from you now. You want to run after them and make them hear you. You want to scream and spit on their worthless faces and you do but you don’t cry. You say it over once it becomes unbearable and tiring.

You say it over once you can’t see anymore. You scratch your eyes trying to peel the blackness but you can’t feel, so you don’t.

You wake up and see their faces in the dull, sickness light, finally looking at you and you do not say anything because you cry. You cry.

Children.

This happens every morning...

This morning, when I saw him outside, mumbling to himself while playing in the sand with his action-figures.

That was a cute sight.

1o minutes later

Stamping his dirty batman sneakers on the white tiles, mocking his mother and screaming at the top of his lungs.

I wanted to die. Every morning

Today.

When I got up from my bed today and opened the curtains,

as I stared into the grey sky I heard the gentle drops of rain against my roof

I smiled.

Rain

I like rain.

Tear dropping, 

The peaceful drip drop on the metal roof.

The placid tune that flows around my senses at night,

The tune that tingles on my skin

Which causes goose bumps and shivers

That crosses a smile on my face.

I like rain.

We are humans.

I have come to live in a place 

where people

judge.

What you eat,

What you wear,

The things you do,

The cars you drive,

The way you speak,

The color of your skin,

The God you believe in.

We are blind to notice.

It is up to you.

It is now.

Now. Now. Now

Definition.

" It's funny - when people call you 'shy', they usually smile. Like it's cute, some funny little habit you'll grow out of when you're older, like the gaps in your grin when your baby teeth fall out. If they knew how it felt - really being shy, not just unsure at first - they wouldn't smile. Not if they knew how the feeling knots up your stomach or makes your palms sweat or robs you of the ability to say anything that makes sense.

It's not cute at all."

Quoted.