She didn't want to cry. Because tears were a sign of weakness, but crying for no reason at all was simply foolish. The stabbing, aching presence in her chest wasn't real. It's not real. It's not real. Repeat it till all other sounds fade, till you're reassured that that pain was from you imagination. Don't believe what anybody tells you. Just let me spread, until all your fury and hatred for me is boiling over the edge, explodes, splattering on surfaces and breaking things that are not meant to be broken. Break. Break. Break. He whispers, within the darkness, surrounding her subconscious until everything bright and beautiful becomes tarnished with green eyes and red blood.


I can't - I can't do this anymore... She didn't even have the strength to say that out loud in an empty room, with only herself to blame.

You've forgotten the brittle leaves and the rose sky and the shine in my smile and heart and strength. Your window-like eyes glanced over my chapped lips with raised brows and a ghost of a thought. Your silent screams didn't shake me like they did when I thought kindness was real. The melody of your whispered heartbeats didn't loosen my grip around your airways when you laid by your grave. Your skin told a story of men in black and the sun as a red explosion in the middle of the opaque sky. 


Your blood makes it so much easier. Broken blue clashed with fiery brown before sparks of silver and white took our visions away with life and a hurricane of decisions and shattered tea cups, with love and happiness ingrained at the very edge of the bottom.

It's hard trying to smile when all I want to do is rip and crack and run. 

I've been going through an emotional phase these couple of weeks. I've just become so... down. And the things that were bright and fun and happy aren't those things anymore. I would like to think that this is only a phase and I hope it doesn't progress any worse that it has now. I wish it was easy to explain, why I feel like - like I'm not really meant to be here and why I actually feel like I'm living a lie. I wish the answers were in black and white, I'd rather not deal with the time wasted on trying to find the answers that are probably so simple yet so difficult for me to see.

I hope that explains some of the shit that's going on inside of my brain. x

"I turn, and (stooping through the morning) kiss this pillow, dear where our heads lived and were."

I'm scared that you're going to stop loving me because I'm turning into this person I don't want to become.

Why aren't you interested in love?

It hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breath. You can't think. Least, not about anything but the pain.

I wish I could just disappear. I'm not important, to anyone. 

Can you make things easy? Or do I have to feel pain for you to notice the darkness behind my eyelids?

Oh, look at that. I did it. I'm sorry I'm such a lazy person. Will post soon <333

Happy Ramadan everyone.

I want you to love me like you love her.

Don't stop doing what makes you happy, your scars shine brighter than the stars in your eyes. Lies take from you when you have nothing to give, smile a little this month. Please.

Tired.

Don't worry, I'm not dead. Just have a fever, and I've been passed out in bed from the overload of meds. I'll put something exciting in a few days. Oh, and one more thing......I STILL CANNOT SEND ASKS ON TUMBLR, WHAT THE HELL BRO.

xx.

I feel...it's better to be dead.

WHAT THE HELL.

I haven't been gone that long and blogger changed so much. Srsly. WHAT THE HELL. Dashboard, stop hiding.

How are you?


I'm fine.


How do I break that habit? No one will know how I really feel and I'm so tired of all the lies.

Don't you know the world shines every time you smile?

I need to do thissssss.

I want to hand write a letter to someone overseas. The last time I wrote a letter was in 2002 on Valentines day at school, but we sent them to houses in the area. Arg. Make this come true. :3

I will beat you.

Tonight I'm going to shoot zombies and laugh manically while I do it. I do sound like a crazy person.../puts on sunglasses and nods like a boss/ that's how I roll.

I don't want to be scared of the monsters anymore.