There are somethings you need to say. You need to learn to say "I can't" "I don't want to" "it hurts". You need to be able to breathe this out and stop from going any further. It's too much, can we slow down? You think you tell your emotions these things, you think you're trying, but it's a lonely battle and you need to fight. I just want to float on the surface of water face first, and watch all my bad emotions sizzle out and sink down to the bottom.

Spending some time in the cold.

God, you just have no friends.

Another thing before this day ends. I'm really sorry if I'm acting weirdly in the last few posts - it's just because this side of me has never...come out. I don't know how to explain it - I've always posted...depressing stuff (my stories/poems suck so bad that it makes me want to shoot myself in the foot) and the happy fun stuff was invisible :|

Anyway, goodnight. Don't party too hard baby.

Something new? Yeah, that's what she said.

:|

Please, ignore me. I'm going through a phase.

Anyway, I realized that I had this blog for a while - for a long time (can you call more/less 3 years a long time?) And I wanted to do something new. Do you think making videos would be fun? It was a thought and well - it's here. I don't know if there are people actually reading this lame ass blog of mine but it would really be cool to know that there are people...out there willingly reading this...blog. (Look at your followers beech.) Yeah sorry, I'm not looking for comments (I actually am :| You write me a damn comment you!).

Yeah...

So...videos? Yes/no (your face is too ugly, go drown)?

I hurt my own feelings all the time. xD 

I finally understood that you can still feel lonely in a crowded room.

I'm short. I like wearing navy blue and green and black colors. I spend all my money on books and shoes and birthday gifts. I don't start conversations because I'm scared people wouldn't want to start them with me. I'm loud with people I do know and quiet with people I don't. I'm scared of heights and abnormally large dogs. I like to smile. I act as the granny in my group of friends. I'm incredibly awkward and negative but I do believe. I laugh until my stomach hurts. I don't want to stop being me, even with all my flaws that bring me down. I don't want you give up on being me. 

I have abilities that happen to be invisible.

When you said people underestimate my knowledge or power or anything that has to do with me. I kinda knew. But I chose to ignore it.

Because if I let people see my other side. It wouldn't be mine anymore. It wouldn't be my secret. And if people knew. They'd expect things I don't usually offer now.

So that's why, I choose to ignore the petty feelings inside me and live happily like I do now.

But you'll always know.