It's hard trying to smile when all I want to do is rip and crack and run. 

I've been going through an emotional phase these couple of weeks. I've just become so... down. And the things that were bright and fun and happy aren't those things anymore. I would like to think that this is only a phase and I hope it doesn't progress any worse that it has now. I wish it was easy to explain, why I feel like - like I'm not really meant to be here and why I actually feel like I'm living a lie. I wish the answers were in black and white, I'd rather not deal with the time wasted on trying to find the answers that are probably so simple yet so difficult for me to see.

I hope that explains some of the shit that's going on inside of my brain. x

"I turn, and (stooping through the morning) kiss this pillow, dear where our heads lived and were."

I'm scared that you're going to stop loving me because I'm turning into this person I don't want to become.

Why aren't you interested in love?

It hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breath. You can't think. Least, not about anything but the pain.

I wish I could just disappear. I'm not important, to anyone. 

Can you make things easy? Or do I have to feel pain for you to notice the darkness behind my eyelids?