I stepped on cracks and lit cigarettes. Just to find you.

Just because I'm nice to you, doesn't mean I like you. It just means I'm not rude.

You dug your own grave. Now shut the hell up and get down there bitch.

You might not think any of this is real. What you see, think, feel. It's all in your head. It's all written in broken words, right? That's what you say to yourself, don't you? Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe my heart couldn't keep up with my mind and then you stopped smiling and going back to reality. Yes. Reality, that's real. But I'm not. I'm broken.

How do I tell you that they don't really care?
How do I make you believe?

#49FactsAboutMe. [Because I’m not that interesting]

“We must not judge people by the color of their skin but by their annoying personalities.”

 Hope I didn’t repeat anything~

1. My name is Malaysian, Danish and Arabic. 
2. My name means thankfulness and the second. My surname is the habitational name from Lauria in Potenza. It’s Italian.
3. My favourite colors are green, blue, red and brown. I have no idea why brown.
4. I love writing, even though I’m bad at it. I love righting poems and connecting words to something real.
5. I like apples, malva pudding, chocolate cake and sour sweets.
6. I can never hate a thing/person but I dislike strawberries, beans, worms, fighting and eating (because somehow I can never stop).
7. My sister forever annoys me.
8. I’m exactly 1 meter and 58 centimeters in height.
9. I feel that my height puts me at a disadvantage.
10. I like most music, except Metal.
11. I started listening to Rock/Indie/Punk in the beginning of my high school years.
12. I’m a baggy jersey/cardigan, skinny jeans and Vans type a girl.
13. I was born on the 12th of January, 1994 on a Wednesday.
14. I think my high school is the most weirdest-awesomest place I know.
15. At 15 I started going through an awkward stage which really hasn’t left me.
16. Fatima (Fat-ma, Fatimatoes, Fatmat, Fzed) is an amazing person. She changed me and I’m so grateful to have her in my life.
17. I’m 17 years old. I think that’s a sexy number.
18. I’m scared of insects, but not in a girly fashion. I - I just don’t like them. I’m also afraid of heights, loneliness, huge monster dogs, new people and cars.
19. I haven’t fallen in love yet. You can add to the last fact ‘afraid of experiencing heart break’.
20. I like smiling. I smile too much that sometimes I look manic.
21. I’m a quiet, shy, insecure girl. I talk too much when I’m with my friends and too little when I’m at home. 
22. I feel bad for everything I do. It’s a serious problem and I’m working on it.
23. Zodiac sign: Capricorn.
24. Only piercings I have are one on both ears. I want a lip ring but it’s never going to happen.
25. I think lip rings are sexy.
26.  My first and only kiss was in 2007, for about 15 seconds.
27. Have I mentioned I’m 17? Seriously - pfffft.
28. I have trouble expressing myself verbally. The words - they’re all stuck in my brain and they can’t get out.
29. I like Naruto and Bleach. The only people know that I like anime are a few.
30. I love my friends and family.
31. I want to be happily married at this age.
32. I’m straight but I like gay people. YES PLEASE :D
33. Names people have called me in the past/present: “Thamina, Bob, John. Jiggly Puff, Tharn Yard.” (Oo)
34. I’m Muslim. I’m ashamed of myself for feeling shy for not telling certain people because some people - they’re not comfortable with it. I don’t know why. 
35. I love my religion.
36. I want to study Architecture. Learn Photography. 
37. I want to learn Italian, so that I can talk to my dads family that I haven’t seen in 6 years. 
38. I don’t swear - ever. 
39. I talk to myself a lot. 
40. A fun night for me is a  good book and a warm cup of tea.
41. My mom says that I’m such an oldie and that I should hang out with my own crowd. Mom, I don’t even have a crowd.
42. I like helping people, I like to make people happy.
43. My eyes and hair are dark brown and my hair reaches to the middle of my back.
44. I like hugs.
45. I say sorry for everything I do.
46. My phone is red. And I have a yellow and black cover. And it’s a BlackBerry.
47. I’m indecisive. 
48. I like twitter.
49. “I automatically assume people won’t like me, so I don’t talk to them unless they approach me first. I can’t become a part of a crowd because I can’t get past that feeling that I don’t belong.”

If you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go for whatever makes you happy. Unless you want everybody to be happy, except you.

Why kill yourself? Life will do that for you.

I finally understood that you can still feel lonely in a crowded room.